Hosting Thanksgiving

This year we hosted an Anderson thanksgiving dinner at our house.

The night before, grandma Anderson provided pizza and we 

got to mingle with Alexa and her fiance Joe.

Here is a picture of Kathy telling stories to the children after dinner.

Donny's sister, Kimala, and her children (Casey and Leanna) and grand baby (Riley)

surprised everyone by driving all the way from Seattle. 

They drove all night and arrived at 5:30am on thanksgiving day.

(Donny bought a guest bed for Holland's room and got it all set up just in time)

Here is a picture of the oldest Anderson grandchild (Leanna), 

the youngest Anderson grandchild (Benson), and the first Anderson great grandchild (Riley).

My kids couldn't get enough of Riley.  

When they said goodbye after three days, they were so sad to have him go.

Here is Holland holding Riley. She loved "mothering" him.

On Thanksgiving day, we all worked our tails off in the kitchen.

Myriam and Hunter spent the morning shining silverware, 

then Myriam made 5 apple pies from scratch. 

She was peeling and chopping apples forever!

(When her beautiful cousin, Marissa, came, she jumped in and helped her.)

Sadie made cute name cards, set all the tables, 

and then made 3 huge bowls of mashed potatoes.

As Donny would say, she has "the abundance mentality."

Holland and Packer each made a strawberry pretzel jello,

Donny cooked the turkey, and I made tons of rolls.

(Aunt Marla was in charge of salad and she went overboard-

she made 5 different kinds and they were all delicious.)

After all the cooking and cleaning, 

they are now more grateful for all the work they never noticed before.

The rest of our weekend was full of play and eating left-overs.

Bridgett and Meagan slept over. The girls decorated for Christmas, 

played dress ups, made up harp/violin duets, and played card games. 

The boys went shooting, put up Christmas lights and played neighborhood basketball.

We all played ultimate Frisbee, went hot-tubbing at grandma's, and watched BYU football.

3 cheers for family gatherings!!!

I am so grateful to have great in-laws.

They are so fun to talk and play with. 

ANGER

ANGER & PERFECTION
I often struggle to bridle my passions, especially anger.
The cause of my anger is often my desire for perfection.
I get upset when things don't go perfectly. 
It has developed a bad habit of noticing the negative side of things 
(since I want to get rid of the imperfection). 
Lately I have been trying to notice the positive side of every situation 
which has helped me be happier- I find joy if I look for it.
(Inspired by Elder Uchtdorf's talk :grateful-in-any-circumstances) 
Being perfect isn't doing things perfectly, but treating people perfectly (with love)-
especially when they didn't do things perfectly.
Therefore, gratitude and optimism (looking at the bright side of things) are anger prevention.
I think it is because anger is a thought-sin (see Elder Lynn Robbins talk Agency & Anger) and pumping in grateful thoughts produces good feelings.  
Thoughts generate feelings.

ANGER & ADDICTION
I recently read through the 12 Steps Addiction Recover Program
and applied it to anger. I LOVED it. 
It has really helped me ponder the nature of God and His power to help me rid myself of ungodliness and develop a God-like nature.
I love all the writing exercises- they are such humbling and self-examining experiences.
My favorite part was writing down all my weaknesses in one column and then writing the opposite strength that I can seek for God's help in changing.
Every time I feel angry it is because one of my weakness is being triggered.
Anger is my warning signal that I am being ungodly.  
If I then recognize the triggered weakness and pray for the opposite virtue, it goes away.
IT IS AN AWESOME WAY TO TAP INTO GRACE= 
THE ENABLING POWER of GOD 
and really help the atonement come into effect in my life= 
getting me back into "oneness" with God.

Here are some of the weaknesses that I am praying for help to become strengths:
Demanding into Gracious
Stingy into Generous
Dull into Playful
Ignorant/Self Absorbed into Understanding/Caring
Critical into Encouraging

5 Ways to Save Money Being a HOMEMAKER

One of my favorite phrases is "A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned."

When my husband and I got married, we both wanted me to be able to stay at home

to take care of the children.  Every time we have been pinched on our financial budget,

we have decided to spend less instead of seeking ways for me to earn additional money.

What I have discovered is that SAVING money by being industrious 

is more SATISFYING then earning and spending money.

It develops self-reliance from the world.  

Every time I pull hot loaves of fresh bread out of the oven, I feel great.

In contrast, I often feel regretful after blowing money on something unnecessary. 

Here are five main ways to save money by being a homemaker:

1- CARING for CHILDREN

- Tending your own children

2- PREPARING FOOD

- Growing a garden
- Preserving food for the future (canning and freezing)
- Making meals from scratch. (Mastering your own favorite recipes)

3- CLEANING/MAINTAINING
- Doing your own housework and laundry.
- Mending/repairing clothing and other things you own (bikes, furniture, etc)
- Giving your husband and children hair cuts.

4- TEACHING

- Reading to your children and teach them to read
- Developing your own talents and teaching them to your children (piano, singing, organ)
- Helping them with their homework

5- LIVING HEALTHY
- Feeding your family healthy foods and making them taste well.
- Getting everyone to bed early
- Playing with your family- walking/biking to school with them; exercising with your husband
- Researching health remedies

SODAS

I want to share my current system of consequences.

I feel like I lose it less if I have a system in place so I don't have to use anger to punish.

I got this from the book "A House United" by Nicholeen Peck... she calls it the "rule of 3"- I use it for everything

(I know that doesn't match love and logic, but then I don't have to creatively match the consequence to the action

 in the moment, I just let the system do it's work)

So, here are the standard escalating consequences: 

1- Major Job 

2- Write SODAS

3- 24 Hour loss of privileges

Here's how I work it. If they do something wrong (even just talk back to me when I give them an instruction)

1st- they get an extra job (I keep a running tally of things I need them to do around the house and pull it out when someone is in trouble.  It is amazing how work helps them get the spirit back. After they are done working they are usually pleasant)

2nd- if they are rude when I tell them that job, they write SODAS after they are done with the job

(Or the younger kids verbalize the sodas with me)

3rd- if they can't accept the job and sodas, and are out of emotional control, they lose priviledges for 24 hours. (no play, snacks, etc. During that time, they do job after job after job)  

(I don't give the younger kids this consequence, I just send them to immediate naptime- usually when they are out of emotional control, they are just tired/delirious)

Here is an example of SODAS:

SITUATION: I am playing a game with my brother and he didn't count one of my points.

OPTIONS: 1- I can punch my brother and demand him to change the score.

                  2- I can let it go and keep playing

DISADVANTAGES:  1- I get a consequence (job), I lose the spirit, and I won't get to keep playing the game

                               2- I won't have as many points as I deserve in the game

ADVANTAGES:   1- I get even and feel momentarily satisfied

                          2- I get to keep playing the game

SOLUTION:   Next time my brother doesn't count the score right in a game, I will let it go and keep playing.

They actually LOVE doing sodas.  It is great training on emotional control- because their consequences escalate if they can't accept the first one calmly. I even do sodas myself when I have lost it or when I am trying to make a choice about something weighing on my mind. (They can do more than two options, I just do two to keep it simple.)

**One of the key principles to giving instructions & consequences is 

to have them look at you in the EYES with a CALM face.  

You have to be calm before you can give any instructions.  

This is exactly what Christ was teaching when he says to first 

"cast the beam out of your own eye,

then you can see clearly to get the mote out of their eye." (Sermon on the Mount)

You cannot correct in anger and hate- that is the beam.

You can correct (pull out their mote), but you have to be calm first (have your beam/anger out)

Also, I keep repeating in my mind the phrase "Perfectly handle Imperfect People."

Christ teaches us to love our enemies and do good to them that use you (imperfect people),

Returning good for evil, loving, praying for, going the extra mile are all perfect ways to handle others.

In fact, right after all that he commands us to "be perfect."  

I must confess, I know all this better than I apply it.

I often find myself being prompted to stay calm and I push the still small voice aside and do it my own way....

which I always regret. I know I need to pray more for power to resist temptations. 

Scholastic Highlights

Packer is working really hard on getting his "Great American Award."

He has been memorizing the states and capitals, the presidents of the United States,

the Gettysburg Address, etc.  

He is self driven on this, more than on any homework in the past.

This video is him singing the "Presidents of the United States" with his sisters

to a tune that my mom wrote for me when I was learning them in elementary school.

Presidents of the United States

I've also been working on teaching Holland to read

and Benson is catching on faster than her.

Here is a quick video of him reading the "Green Book"

Benson Reading

Myriam bagpiped with Donny at the school talent show

(it was the end of her 5th grade year).

She blew everyone away!

Amazing Grace Elementary Talent Show
I love that they are developing a love of learning.