Emotional Bank Account

For the last 10 weeks, we have been keeping track of our relationships with each other.
If we have a negative interaction with another member of the family,
we have a temporary loss of privileges (Friends, Sugar, & Media)
until we have written them a note telling them 10 things we like about them.
(We started with just 3 things on the first week, then 4 the next week,
and so on until we have stabilized at  10)

Writing positive things has been helpful in changing our mood because it changes our thoughts.
(Sermon on the Mount- Matthew 5:25 "Agree with thine adversary quickly whilst thou art in the way with him." The footnote for "agree"= have kind thoughts towards.)

If one of the children has three negative interactions in a row-
symbolizing they are in a bad mood and can't get out- they have to work for 30 minutes
(Lately I have been sending them to their room to crack walnuts...
A productive form of time out)
Work really does help in pulling us out of a bad mood.

Whale Done

My mom gave me a book called "Whale Done" a while back and I recently re-read it.

The theme is that in training killer whales, they always reward and look for the positive.

(Punishing and looking for the negative would be life threatening for the trainers)

I have been really trying to be more positive as a mother lately 

without dropping standards and expectations.

Here are a few programs that we have been doing:

1. Obedience Marble Jar 

 

Whenever they say "yes mom" and obey right away, 

they get to put a marble in the family marble jar.

When it is filled, we will go out to dinner or do a fun family outing.

(Each person has their own container to empty, so no one gets a free ride)

Hollland and Benson were the first to get their marbles all into the jar.

2. Reverence Pretzels

I hate to be negative during family scripture study and prayer,

so I have been bringing a pretzel jar each morning and handing out pretzels

to the kids who are on time, reverent, and actively participating.

(Hopefully the bribing will create good habits.)

3. Learning Charts

 I am the queen of charts.

(When performance is measured, performance improves)

They mark their piano and reading minutes- 

this earns their popcorn and peanut m&ms they get on movie night.

Here is Packer practicing the simplified hymns:

4. Chore Dollars

I have simplified their chores to 3 jobs during the week:

1. Cook DINNER on their dinner night

2. Do their own LAUNDRY on their laundry day.

3. Do their assigned SATURDAY housework/cleaning. ("Saturday Suds")

If their jobs were done on time, they earn $1 per chore each week.

Valentines

This year Donny went all out for Valentines.

He took all his daughters out to eat.

When we came home our boys were all dressed up.

They handed us flowers and had a Valentines Dance with us in the kitchen.

What a great man Donny is- I love him so much and appreciate

how much he honors women.

(Donny and I also like to write a poem or letter to each other on Valentines

and I always make him banana bread just because I did while we were dating.)